Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Princess and I had a small but cosy Christmas day with just us and my Mum.
We did the usual things; Christmas dinner, opened presents and watched Christmas TV, Strictly Come Dancing of course! Mum was the most comfortable I have seen her with Princess being dressed as a girl. However on a few occasions towards the beginning of the day she referred to Princess as ‘he’. In a quite moment in the kitchen I just very gently said to Mum, you have used ‘he’ a few times, its ‘she’. She was instantly profusely apologetic and worried she had upset Princess. I simply explained it was fine but I just needed to point it out to her.
Later in the evening we got to chatting on the sofa and Mum seemed comfortable, whereas she has been reluctant in the past, too embarrassed even, to talk to Princess about her being Trans. I showed her the dress I had bought Princess for her birthday at the beginning of December and she admired it with Princess telling her that it fitted well and gave good cleavage, without mum showing any discomfort. When Mum left I walked to the car with her, helping her carry her bags and she said; ‘I am glad I had that chat with Princess’.
At one time even the thought of ever telling Mum that my partner was transgender seemed absolutely impossible and completely unthinkable that she would be in the same room as my partner wearing a cute tartan skirt, polo neck jumper and thick black opaque tights with ballet pumps, as well dressed as any other woman – not the drag queen look I think my Mum feared. But not only is that now a possible reality by through this my Mum and I now have a stronger relationship together as Mother and Daughter than we have ever had which has been a wonderful and unexpected result of coming out. I have found in being open about transgender everything else you talk about a breeze.
I think that often we are crippled from making any brave moves in life by fear, to an extent it rules our lives. And yes taking leaps of faith is very difficult, because the route of the fear is the unknown, but in some ways I think by not taking risks you are not living. Hiding in the closet is not living and yes it is easy for me to say these brave words when I am living my life with my trans partner and we are very fortunate that our loved ones, friends included and especially are accepting and inclusive of my Princess and of me, without question, which is very humbling, but we had to start somewhere at the point when no one knew and we didn’t know how they would react.
We are about to enter a New Year and this is my last blog of 2010. It is a time when people think about making a fresh start, making resolutions, entering a New Year wanting to make changes. If you are considering how your life might be if you told others, either you are trans or a partner of someone trans, I wish you all the luck in the world and support if you need it, you can message me on this blog and I will gladly help in any way I can. Regardless of what your plans are for the New Year have a good one, thank you for reading this blog and I hope you continue to enjoy reading it in 2011.