I heard recently that to be an expert in a subject you have to have struggled with it and come out the other side.
I am in love with the life I have with my trans partner now, but in a former life with my ex Tgirl partner life wasn’t so rosy. I was once scouring web sites looking for answers, looking how to help him, help us, looking for advice from the trans scene. I wish I’d found my blog. I needed to know that it didn’t have to be so hard.
I found tvchix and it changed my life. I met acquaintances, supporters, very special friends and of course my soul mate. But something I have just read on a friends face book wall, has made me think of days of old with my struggle and rife.
“While you scream at your woman, there’s a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend, and insult her, there’s a man flirting with her and reminding her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her, there’s a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there’s a man stealing smiles from her.” – This is against Domestic Violence & Mental Abuse.
I’m not saying my past relationship was as bad as domestic violence but this quote rings scarily close to some memories. That ‘man’ reminding me how beautiful I am and whispering in my ear, was a girl; my girl, my Princess.
Are you experiencing the above quote in your trans relationship? Outside sources are valuable, I don’t deny that, but they are not a substitute for asking and answering each other’s questions.
You are likely to get scratched and hurt by a few thorns, but you need to ask each other the difficult questions, because sticking your head in the sand or looking elsewhere doesn’t work either. I know, I’ve been there, done it, and worn the T-shirt!
Now it worked out for me, but not so much for my ex-partner. I walked away because we were broken and I’d grown tired of the one sided attempts to fix us.