Love, life and roses

I heard recently that to be an expert in a subject you have to have struggled with it and come out the other side. 

I am in love with the life I have with my trans partner now, but in a former life with my ex Tgirl partner life wasn’t so rosy.  I was once scouring web sites looking for answers, looking how to help him, help us, looking for advice from the trans scene.  I wish I’d found my blog.  I needed to know that it didn’t have to be so hard.

I found tvchix and it changed my life.  I met acquaintances, supporters, very special friends and of course my soul mate.  But something I have just read on a friends face book wall, has made me think of days of old with my struggle and rife. 

“While you scream at your woman, there’s a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend, and insult her, there’s a man flirting with her and reminding her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her, there’s a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there’s a man stealing smiles from her.” – This is against Domestic Violence & Mental Abuse.

I’m not saying my past relationship was as bad as domestic violence but this quote rings scarily close to some memories.  That ‘man’ reminding me how beautiful I am and whispering in my ear, was a girl; my girl, my Princess.

Are you experiencing the above quote in your trans relationship?   Outside sources are valuable, I don’t deny that, but they are not a substitute for asking and answering each other’s questions. 

You are likely to get scratched and hurt by a few thorns, but you need to ask each other the difficult questions, because sticking your head in the sand or looking elsewhere doesn’t work either.  I know, I’ve been there, done it, and worn the T-shirt! 

Now it worked out for me, but not so much for my ex-partner.  I walked away because we were broken and I’d grown tired of the one sided attempts to fix us.

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