How do you solve a problem like assumptions?

How many of you [partners of trans women] have had assumptions made of you for being with your partner, or fear/have considered possible assumptions? I would be willing to bet all of you.  Hell I have of course considered the assumptions people make of me.  I just don’t care.

And what are those assumptions? Let’s start with the most obvious elephant in the room, yes that’s right, you got it – the dreaded L word!  Now depending on your view of homosexuality I would imagine you are all on various levels of how much this bothers you.  My personal view is that I don’t mind being thought of as a Lesbian so much, if I have the opportunity to educate someone about transgender and explain that I, or any other woman in a trans relationship am not necessarily gay. 

Absolutely nothing wrong with being gay whatsoever, that’s just not how I role.  I have lesbian friends and am very happy and comfortable in their company.  But I know that for some partners this is a real issue.  So come on girls, post some comments we may all be able to help one another with this niggling issue.  I don’t know about you, but not only do we consider how others question our sexuality, but don’t we question our own at some point too, because of being in a trans relationship?   And questions are a good thing.  

Ok, what’s next, ‘how could we put up with it?’ This one is controversial I know, because I am sure there are those of you who do ‘put up with it’.  I 100% respect it’s your life and you have to manage whatever situation within your life is tricky for you, irrespective of the issue.  But I am curious what would make you shift from ‘putting up with it’ to a more comfortable acceptance. – Seriously, blue sky thinking, no boundaries, rules, what could change your mind?  For those of you are as accepting and embracing as me, please also share your thoughts, I’m getting lonely up here on stage each week.  

I think, and I could be wrong, that others think perhaps women in a trans relationship maybe couldn’t do any better, perhaps have low self esteem, and are even less than attractive – OUCH! Hey you must know me by now, I don’t hold any punches when it comes to saying what I think.  – So to answer this, firstly you have now all seen me on my ‘vlog’ [loving the fact I’ve learnt a new word, I am so down with the kids – not], I digress, you make your mind up.  I know several beautiful and gorgeous women in trans relationships, in fact I don’t one unattractive woman in a trans relationship.  Desperate, I honestly don’t think so.

What else do we have?  You tell me, the floor is yours…..

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2 Responses to How do you solve a problem like assumptions?

  1. Nay says:

    I have found that people are shocked when they realise that I knew my partner was trans before we got together. They seem to be expecting some sort of story about how I caught him in my knickers!

  2. Davila legs says:

    I’ll try to get my wife to respond… I’ve responded already in tvchix.

    Although I’d love a sexual relationship with my wife with me dressed I doubt it will ever happen as she’s of the opinion which flatters me that I look like a woman well enough that she’d not be turned on by me as a woman and if she did it would mess with her sexuality…

    Not really as I’m a man she’s a woman heterosexual as it comes but I’d look like a woman albeit with foam boobs n man bits between my legs.

    A pity sexuality is even associated with cross dressing let alone partners sexuality for being the partner of a trans person but the media do a great job of making this so…

    One day it will be understood better I hope.

    D 😉

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