I seem to have created a storm from my post of ‘Annie’s story’, which I discussed on tvchix forum.
Some shared my thoughts that; “sadly about 2/3rds of women don’t accept their partner/husband being trans if they announce it subsequently, leading to divorce or break up. This is a great pity when so many women long for a husband who is in touch with his feminine side. The reality is that the husband is the same, but the partner’s perceptions of him change,” beautifully said.
I hope it has helped another girl, who sounds like she has a difficult journey ahead of her; “I have read the story & I would like to be able to show my folks when they are in a position to maybe read information on TG. As it is I came out to them 2 months ago & they have been in total denial ever since. I have had my parents tell me I am a boy not a girl quite nastily, I have been told I am totally selfish by them for not putting everyone else first. They have no concept of what has/is happening to me & have no wish to, so this may help if they ever decide to read something.”
One of the threads was on the debate of betrayal, in terms of trans women coming out to their partners; “tell me why a wife or partner should understand and accept you being Trans if it is kept as a dark secret from the person you say you love? If you cannot be honest with your wife or partner why should they support you? It is still a form of deceit and dishonesty in my eyes.”
If you are regular reader of my blog you know my feelings of honesty in a relationship; I don’t encourage dishonesty in any relationship. I do understand how partners can feel betrayed and lose trust in their partner after they have confessed they are trans. However for many trans people, them being trans is a deep dark secret.
I do not believe that you can be honest with a loved one until you have been honest with yourself first. This works both ways and I talk in the thread of how I would encourage the woman (RG), in the relationship to take responsibly to try and understand what transgender is; before she makes any difficult decisions.
Join in the debate, you don’t have to be on the trans scene…