I posted on a forums my good news of a magazine article, and posed the question of what people would like to see published about transgender people and their partners. There was one particularly negative reply, which stood out.
They warned; that it was naive to think it was possible to control the media, that I might come off worse, and to ask myself what it is me and my partner seek to gain, and what we are likely to lose by publicising our relationship. All fair questions.
Before I started on the very lengthy project of writing a book about my relationship with my partner, with the intention of having it published, I did carefully consider the consequences. But my passionate belief of the importance for the wider community to be educated on transgender issues, convinced me there is a need for my story to be publicised, as I am not alone in living my story.
My experience is one of the incredible acceptance my partner and I have received and everything we have gained from this. We have not lost anything. I know that there are those who have lost, and lost significantly. But ours is a story of hope that it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way, and that sometimes your attitude to ‘coming out’ can help facilitate others acceptance of it.
I know that I cannot control the media, but I am being sensible enough to be aware of this. I can limit any negative portrayal of my story, by taking the necessary precautions.
Sometimes life is about taking risks, and the possible and potential outcome can influence ones decision to take those risks. If it was guaranteed you wouldn’t pushing your own boundaries, which I believe is important as part of our self development through life.
What do I want to gain? I will not make a penny from the article, it will not make me famous – and it is not fame I seek. It may help convince a publisher there is a market, beyond the transgender scene, for my book to sell. I am familiar with the book industry and believe me I will not become rich from Angel and Princess, I am likely to gain very little financially from it, and little authors do unless they are up there with J K Rolling.
So what’s to gain? Where would gay people be if there had not been the ‘gay rights movement?’ Where would women be, if after doing men’s jobs during the war and wearing their clothes to do them in, had slunk back to their kitchen sinks in silence, without protest. Where would the black movement be if one woman had not refused to give up her seat on the bus and Martin Luther King had not had a dream?
I am not by any means a hero, far from it. I am a humble individual amongst thousands. I won’t change the world alone, but I refuse not to do what I can as an individual to at least try, in my own way.