Healthy debate

Hi folks, I’m back!  I don’t mind admitting I’ve had a bit of a dip the last few weeks, and have metaphorically hidden under the duvet.  But I am feeling tip top and excited to see that my last blog; ‘Don’t box me in (part 2)’, got some great debate going.

Many of you share my opinion that we really don’t like being labelled.  Categorising is like a ‘one size’ label on an item of clothing; one size cannot possibly fit all.  One of your comments probably rings true for many of us, if not all of us; “I have been trying for some time ‘not to be boxed in’.”

One of you dislikes “the trend for taking on labels like “pansexual”- it sounds pretentious to make up new terms.”  I suppose it is pretentious, and I did indulge in a bit of word play with ‘transbian’.  Essentially I agree with; “refusing to have a label attached to me as regards my relationship to a transgendered person.”  However I am a writer and the development of words and having fun with them is what makes English the diverse language it is today.  I realise this in itself makes moi sound pretentious.

Someone quite rightly pointed out a flaw with ‘transbian’ that it; “is a nice term if you are only interested in transgender people. There isn’t another term that covers that.”  Mmm, good point, well made my friend.  Because if I wasn’t in a relationship with Princess, I wouldn’t particularly search for someone new to have a relationship with, who was transgender.

I agree whole heartedly that; “we label ourselves to feel like we fit. People label us to make us fit.” This was followed by; “I am not sure I have ever fit anywhere.”  This could be a whole debate in its own merit.  We all somehow have to find our way and a place in society to survive.  Finding the strength to be proud of being different is not so easy when you are at school, for instance, and trying to form your own identity against peer groups and forces pulling you to conform.  Have any of us ever really fitted in anywhere, especially if you consider the above; that we are either faking it, or simply not arguing with the box someone has put us in.  Let’s face it sometimes it is easier to let someone think they have us pegged, than try and explain or argue with them.

It would be great to say that never ‘fitting in’ could be something to be celebrated, in line with a particularly beautiful comment; “I believe that everyone is unique and has a very special unique place in their relationship.”  Of course we do.  So let’s just leave it at; “long live ‘not being boxed in’!”

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