Early book release, you can buy now!

Hi all,
Great news, publication of my book is early! It is available to buy NOW on Amazon on both paperback and kindle.  Just think if you are lucky enough to own a kindle you could own a copy in moments.

My book also seems to be a title that currently has a limited promotional offer; when you order it you are sent a £10 promotional gift certificate on fashion added to your account.  so Everyone’s a winner!

As you know it could get into Amazon’s bestsellers if I can sell as many copies as possible in the first week.  So I would really appreciate your support if you could buy a copy.

For those of you buying the paperback I am aware that Amazon are saying it is an estimated delivery of 4-6 weeks.  I have been assured by the publisher that this is not the case and it will be with you much sooner than this.  So if you buy the paperback now you should have it in plenty of time for Christmas.

I can’t thank all of you enough for the support you have been over this process.  Lots of love to you all, and I hope you enjoy it.



Thank you for your support.  Hope you enjoy it and if you do, why not write a review on the Amazon page.

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Vlog thanks

Hi all,

I thought I’d do a video blog this week as I have something very special to share..



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Media plea

I have been having some discussions with a journalist regarding possible features articles in different publications.  She felt there was definite mileage in placing feature articles in popular weekly women’s publications, and newspaper weekend magazines.  She felt this could lead to radio interviews and even ‘This Morning’.

My only reason for doing any publicity is to promote the book and make book sales – naturally.  Those of you who have been following my blog for some time will know that the reason I am even here, doing any of this is to education and encourage understanding, acceptance and integration.  More book sales hopefully means helping moving things towards this.

What we learnt from the Marie Claire article was that no matter how well written and tastefully done, people’s curiosity will, forgivably, be drawn to photographs of Nicci.  Ironically the ‘difference’ of such a feature promotes behavior which is incongruent with integration.

I naively assumed that as the author of the book I could do publicity on my own and didn’t need my partner to tag along, avoiding the sensationalist attention a feature with us both seems impossible to avoid.  There is just one snag, in the glossy world of magazine’s I am not wanted on my own.  They want ‘us’

Yes the book is of course about our relationship and you could argue, and the media would, that Nicci and I are a publicity package.  My inspiration for writing the book however was sharing a story with the world of the perspective of a woman in a relationship with someone transgender.  It is MY story.  But it is so much more than this; about how the unusual grounding of the relationship has helped me grow, helped me become more confident and hope that this would inspire people to strengthen their relationships.

There is more than one way to skin a cat and regulars must know by now how tenacious I can be. So I had a conversation with a contact of mine and she was encouragingly positive.  She agreed I should be bold with a different angle; convince the quality paper weekend magazines to be progressive – to put it crudely we need to move on from staring at the ‘bloke in a dress’ and forward thinking of looking at it from the perspective of  ‘women who choose transgender partners’.

My contact suggested this could work if I approach the paper with a few stories from other women, which can be anonymous, as long as I am happy to be photographed and provide the pictures they would want for a glossy feature.

Some of you might have already seen where this is going…

…If any women would be interested in writing their experience, get in touch with me and I can let you know more details.  Actually my task aside, it would be great to read your experiences.

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Strapline thanks

Wow.  It just goes to show how kind and willing to help people are, when you simply ask.

Thank you so much to all of you who sent me stapline ideas.  I now have a list of 13!  There are elements and sentiments that I like in all of them.  My plan is to cut them up and throw all the individual words around, play with them and I will end up with a title that all of you have contributed to.  I rather like that idea and hope none of you will be offended.

When you include the ideas that many of you gave towards the cover image; just think when it is published and you buy a copy (I am being cheeky assuming, and rather hoping you will), you can tell people you contributed to the cover design.  Because even if I don’t use your specific idea, your ideas spark other ideas, and designing the cover has been an organic, growing process.

I hope you find that as thrilling as I do.

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I have the challenge of how to identify my book.  At the moment my book has the art work and the title.  But a very good friend pointed out that there is nothing to distinguish it as non fiction, or hint more specifically what it is about.  I think that a strap line will do the trick.  Which leads me to making another brainstorming session.

But I don’t know whether to make it obvious; i.e.  Embracing life with my transgender partner

Or more subtle; A relationship book with a difference

Then there are these; How I found me when I found her
How s(he) helped me find myself

but the former could make it sound as though the ‘love less ordinary’ is a lesbian relationship.

You were all so generous with your ideas on the cover that I was hoping you would let me know your thoughts on this too…

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What’s it all about…

Hi all,

I have sent out quite a lot of com’s today re the book and if you have made your way here you might wish to see what it’s all about.  Well, as the blurb on the back of my book reads…

‘…we all lose ourselves amongst the constant expectations that modern life throws at us…

This is my story of having woken up, I realised I was not living my life for me.  It’s about the perspective I’ve gained of what a healthy relationship can and should be.  My relationship just happens to be with someone who identifies as transgender.

It is about how I realised if transgender people can find the strength to be open with the world about who they are, considering all the challenges this presents, couldn’t we all find the courage to be honest with the world about who we really are?

 The heart and essence of this book is about more than being the partner of someone who is transgender.  It’s about learning to be true to yourself.  To love yourself and live the life that you want.  To be free – truly free – as the person you are meant to be.’

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Christmas come early

I am as excited as a five year old on Christmas Eve.  I know Christmas is going to happen soon, but it can’t come quick enough and it feels like it is taking forever.  But I have the quivering knowledge of the adult responsibility of making it all happen, and making sure everything is perfect and magical and sparkly.

Everything is falling into place and on the right track for getting the book published.  We are aiming for before Christmas, so hopefully it should be out in time at least for those last minute present buyers.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who gave ideas on the cover.  I will not share it with you just yet, I want to build anticipation naturally….



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Cover story

The publisher is working on the cover of my book.  I had a vision in my head a long time ago of what I wanted the back to look like. A picture of me in a certain pose, in a certain dress, holding the mini pink laptop I actually wrote the book on, with the blurb to the side of me.

The front cover on the other hand is another matter.  I will use the analogy of a trans person (male to female); I would like the cover to reflect on the outside what is on the inside.  That means both the text and content of the book, and of me.

The words that spring to mind that I want the cover to be are; bold, alive, unafraid, unique, exciting, intriguing, different, consistent, positive, classy and classic – yet with a twist, feminine.  This is a lot to want to try and capture.  Am I being a diva?

Originally I only wanted words on the cover but am willing to be moveable on this for the right image.  From the book the first thing that springs to mind is high heeled shoes – but this screams ‘tranny’ to me.  It seems clichéd.  Although it does capture a lot of the above, perhaps it may be a case of finding the shoe that fits.   So other immediate images which spring to mind are rose petals – and I say petals rather than a rose which could be cheesy. A heart might do it, as it is romantic and indicative of a relationship.

Any ideas you have are welcome.

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Somebody pinch me…

Everything is all still going in the right direction.  I am meeting with my publisher tomorrow.  I have had occasion to say that quite a few times to people now – ‘I’m meeting with my publisher’ and I am still not used to how it sounds.

It certainly does seem as thought I am going to pull this thing off.  It appears that having spent the last two years slogging my guts out; sweat and tears – literally tears on several occassions in fact, that I am going to be a published author.

The tears have been on occassions when my Dyslexia has loomed and potentially threatened to scupper the project.  But each time I have blown my nose, Nicci has talked me through it and I have found ways around it – mostly when I have stubbornly tried to ignore that I am dyslexic, and haven’t wanted to admit it needed a lot of proof reading.

I am sure that this is going to be the thing that I am most proud of ever achieving.  Getting my degree pails in comparison.  But in both cases I am extraordinary proud because I have achieved them despite being dyslexic.


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PC anger!

And no I am not talking about the Politically Correct type PC, I am talking about my laptop.

So last Friday I spent a while going through my entire book, making track changes of the last proof (I hope) that I will make of my own book.  This is the version that the publishers – Bramley Press – I’ll give them a little plug ; ) , have asked me to approve and make sure I am literally happy with all the last dotted i’s and crossed t’s.

Well happy as Larry this morning I got up, intending to spend my day working on a marketing and promotional plan, but nooooo, my laptop had other ideas.  I thought ‘I’ll just quickly pop the corrected manuscript off to the publishers that I worked on so diligently last Friday.  Oh, wait a minute where is it? (40 minutes later) Serious, where the F is it!!!

Gone, disappeared, nadda.  Now I am not the best at technology but yes I used all the tricks, search recent doc’s, a file search etc, etc.  If you are reading this and think you would have had a solution to help, then keep it to yourself please.  Because in the end I realised it would be quicker for me to do the whole dam thing again rather than pointlessly searching and getting more and more hot under the collar.

Technology; you can’t live with it and you can’t live without it.  At least when you loose your car keys (e.g.) you can methodically think about when you had them last and work your way back, leaving the stupid places like behind the sofa and the cat’s stomach, till last.  (Yes I searched for file by date – didn’t work).

I feel a little better now I have re-done it and have now sent it to the publishers, but still; Aaarrrrggghhh!

Love ya lots

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