Vulnerability

I can’t remember if I have told you before about a website called Ted.  It is a collection of presentations/speeches by various people.

I watched one this week by a speaker call Brene Brown.  She is a trained psychotherapist and researcher.  She gave a talk on her research on vulnerability and shame.

I don’t think there was anything revolutionary in its content, nothing that if deep down we were honest with ourselves we don’t all already know, but it is extremely powerful.  It will make you laugh and I defy it not to move you.

She says;

Vulnerability is essential to wholehearted living.  Vulnerability is not weakness – it is about emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty.  It fuels our daily lives and is our most accurate measurement of courage. 

She enthuses we have to be honest and let our real selves be seen.  This naturally struck a chord with me, when I think of all the incredibly brave trans people in the world who do just that.  I am honoured enough that some of you read my humble blog and thank me for sharing.  It is you we should thank, you who share, it is you who show real courage.

She says; Vulnerability is courage and that; there is nothing more vulnerable than to create and make something that has never existed before.  Life is about daring greatly, it’s about being in the arena and shame is the gremlin that says you’re not good enough.

This is my journey.  When finally printed, my book will be in the arena, my life will be published in a way it has never existed before, but I have huge gremlins who tell me this won’t happen because my story is not worthy enough, because I am not good enough at telling it.

She goes on; the critic in our lives 90% of the time is us, we are never good enough.

For women shame is organised as ‘do it all, do it all perfectly and never let them see you sweat.’  We have unobtainable competing expectations of who we are supposed to be.  For men; they mustn’t be perceived as weak.

She ends with just two powerful words;

Dare greatly.